Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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