I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize