The maid of honor just puked.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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