I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize