talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
