whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
