i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
