i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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