i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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