Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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