mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
