Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
