"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
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He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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