i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
