So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
