it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
