Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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