it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
