oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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