i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
