I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
