Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
