ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
