So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
