Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize