My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm way too hungover for life right now
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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