i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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