So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm at about main and main street
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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