I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
