the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
