It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
