i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
