come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
