Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
