Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
