Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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