$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
