I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize