WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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