my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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