he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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