she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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