i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
