I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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