Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
