If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
