apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
