he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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