Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
