Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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