Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
