My underwear smells like fireworks.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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