I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
