He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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