Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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