I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize