We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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