we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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