It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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